I so wish you had the strength to keep going .... I so wish I could have done more .... I truly believe I could have helped you Benn if I had understood more .... if you had let me understand you more. I still find it so hard to mention your name with out crumbling, I miss you so much. I put some flowers down with you the other day as I did a bloke walked by .... I only saw his side profile and the back of him but it could have been you .... I even tried to see his face .... stupid I know but how I wish it was you and this wasn't all real (I wanted to believe it was a sign from you, that you were there)... I wish with all my heart you were here.. we all need you .. Mum, Leiya ... me. I hope you hear us and are with us. Love you always Helen x x x